From Stage Fright to Spotlight: Overcoming Performance Anxiety

From Stage Fright to Spotlight: Overcoming Performance Anxiety Do you ever find yourself feeling nervous, sweaty palms, and a racing heart just at the thought of stepping onto a stage? If so, you're not alone. Performance anxiety, also known as stage fright, is a common challenge faced by many individuals, including seasoned performers such as myself.

You see, originally I never wanted to be a singer, I just wanted to be a songwriter. So, I started off like most people did, at an open mic. It all started at "The Legacy", located in Saint Louis, Mo. I originally started off as a poet. I had a knack for memorization & apparently "pulling the crowd in." One thing I noticed very early on however was that and overwhelming amount of attention on or off the stage made me extremely anxious.

Once I started singing however, even though I loved my voice, I found myself constantly over analyzing every small detail. Every stare, every giggle, every laugh felt detrimental and distracting...like why are people walking around while I am singing? Why are they talking while I am performing? What are they talking about? Are they talking about me? Are they laughing at me? Can they hear me? Do I sound good? Do I look ok? How is this outfit in the light? Is my makeup ok? I literally would be on stage, doing what I now love, thinking and obsessing about everything else, except that.

I couldn't continue this and didn't like how it made me feel. I was no longer enjoying performing...I was terrified of it. How is it we are blessed with gifts that we want to share, but crippled by our own anxiety at the same time? I've been wearing glasses since I was a kid, right? I literally can not see without my glasses or contacts; so what did I do? My first trick was, I would take off my glasses right as I was walking on stage. Yes, we know the apparent safety concerns, but I was desperate people. I figured, If I can't see the distractions, then I won't be distracted...right? This worked for a while, until I would start hearing things like "I waved at you in the crowd, but you ignored me!" No mam, I wasn't ignoring you, I was just temporarily blindsided...literally and physically speaking.

So then I started trying to calm my nerves by having a little drink. Quick disclaimer, all or at least most musicians have some sort of vice, the key is to make sure whatever your vice is, you are able to maintain a presentation and execution of professionalism and showmanship. Learn from my mistakes; as I didn't have a guide or mentor during that period. All it took was one mistakenly drunken performance for me to whip myself back into shape. To be honest, in the moment, my nerves were gone, my anxiety was non existent and in my head I was delivering big Beyonce/Anita Baker energy...only to watch the video & see myself swaying back and forth, spotlight on me, my eyes were closed & the audience was in a state of confusion. For the record sympathy applause does not feel the same as a genuine one. I realized then after being chewed out by the promoter, that in fact, that is not what I wanted to portray on stage. I didn't perform for a couple years after that, from sheer embarrassment and guilt.

When I did finally start performing again, it was when I released my first single "Dear Future Husband" (& no, not Meghan Trainor's song). I remember the overwhelming feedback I received, and still receive. What I began to then realize is that I had power to connect with people who wanted to hear about love. They wanted to hear my voice. They believed that I was talented. I remember the moments thinking that I messed up, forgot some lyrics, appeared uncomfortable on stage. I saw that, I felt that and yet those that came to see me simply didn't.

I needed to get to the root of my anxiety with stage fright. Was it lack of confidence? Imposter syndrome? Self- Sabotage? Or, was it like the famous quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." -Marianne Williamson

I began to ask myself, why was I truly terrified of simply overcoming. Just like conflict, there are times fleeting moments of disappointment or failure may occur; it is inevitable. However. just like those moments, if we push through, we will manifest a mountain of triumphs as well. I realized in order to share my gifts, I could no longer be selfish and afraid to actually share my gifts. I started to self build, do more self care and continuously remind myself, that I deserved to be there. I reminded myself that all of my hard work in learning music, songwriting, reciting lyrics, rehearsing & recording would not go in vain. I started to not only step onto stages, but I started to see them as my safe place, instead of my death sentence.

It became important for me to respect my fan base and the audience, as they were there to see and hear me...who am I not to be great & deliver? Now, to be completely transparent, I still have a little pre performance social anxiety like most do. I tend to prefer to sit alone or limit communications until after performances. The major thing that changed the narrative for me, was that my audience deserved to hear me...and damnit, I deserved to sing. You will have moments that come and go, you will be nervous, you will overthink, your palms may become sweaty, the lights may be blinding....but just remember, someone thought your were just that amazing to actually book you, promote you, support you...and a group of people are eager to experience your gifts. Your gifts are greater than your anxiety; and you were blessed with skills that some only dream to have. You deserve the applause, the IG and FB follows, the reshares & the bookings.

The stage...that performance space, is NOT your demise... It is the platform to your arrival.

So...take a deep breath, like I did and still do...and give em' one hell of a show!

(Then disappear into the back and sweat like a normal person).

XOXO

-Tinkah